Milania. The Birth (from Butterflies to Kleenex)

First things first - get a Kleenex out before you proceed) 

Milania is our first daughter. She was born September, 3rd 2015. My due was was at the end of November 2015 though..It wasn't anything that someone could have prepared us for!

We lived in California back then and my pregnancy was going great. I was resting by the pool, going to the beach or out hiking. Felt a bit tired but overall everything seemed normal! My monthly doctor's appointments were going really well, and we were still on deciding on a name when it all happened. We were choosing between Milania and Alexandra, and some other names I can’t recall anymore.

On September 1st, I went to my 28 weeks doctor's appointment. My husband was at work so I was alone. The nurse took my blood pressure - it was a bit high but, maybe, nerves.. You know? Then, OB came in, had a general talk, and did an ultrasound. After that moment, my world started crashing down. She said that seemed like the baby hasn't grown since last time she saw me (which was 4 WEEKS AGO!). At that point, I slowly start freaking out.. She sent me to the hospital to perform a more detailed ultrasound.

I held it together at the doctor's office but as soon as I got the car, my mind just started racing. I felt like I couldn't breathe, I called my husband - he is always SUPER CALM so he helped me get it together and I drove myself to the hospital. We decided he should stay at work still until we know for sure if something is wrong.

By the time I got to the hospital, my blood pressure was already through the roof. I thought I was there just for another ultrasound - but they got me in right away and had a room ready for me already! Another ultrasound..Same result! Everything is a daze after - I keep crying, they hook me up to IV, give me some meds.. Im laying on a hospital bed in my gown surrounded by 4-5 doctors and nurses who tell me they might need to take the baby out today! A baby who they tell me has 60-70% survival chance, thats not to mention any other complications.

My husband gets there shortly. I’m wheeled in to a dark room without windows. Hooked to all kinds on tubes, I'm not allowed to get up or eat anything until.. Well, we still don't know until what. With my belly barely showing, all I can do is lay there and hope for some sort of a miracle. We don't have family in US, so we decide not to tell anyone about what happened - especially my parents. They would freak out even more than me! We did tell my husband's dad so he could pray for the baby. 

Fast forward 2 days, my blood pressure is not dropping.. Baby has to come out! My husband goes in for C-Section with me. I'm stretched on the operating table shaped like a cross. I am crying, shacking.. facing a BIG unknown! The surgery went b really fast, I didn't feel anything. They take the baby - she doesn't make any sound, I don't see her (my husband catches a glimpse but doesn't tell me much), they wheel her off. 

The doctor stitches me up and off I go to recovery room. Not pregnant anymore. No baby is my hands..